So I went out solo tonight. I almost didn't, but I'm glad that I pushed myself. I was up super-late last night and then had to be up early today. In the end, I slept like 4 hours last night, and only about six the night before. So today I was so tired that I was hallucinating. I didn't get home until a bit after 7 tonight, and took a nap until 10. At 10, I contemplated going back to bed, but realized that this was a chode-out. Still couldn't motivate myself to go out, so I went to the bathroom. Sinn has said that he will go out for sure once he gets in the shower. I tried that, and it worked.
I walked by the place closest to my house; it had a line out the door and around the block. I went to the store to buy a snack, and the line was even longer when I got back. I kept walking, and found another place with a much shorter line. Got in at about midnight. Bought a beer, and resolved that I had to stay for at least 45 minutes. This actually works pretty well for me (particularly because I hate watching sports, which is all that's ever on the TVs in most bars). If I have to stand alone in a bar, I will probably start approaching out of boredom. I could pressure myself to do a certain number of approaches, but I find that my outcome isn't good when I approach when I "have to," and not because I want to. For me, my biggest problem is outcome dependence.
After a few minutes, I did my first approach. It felt off, and I got blown out pretty quickly. Chilled out for a few minutes, and then did a second approach. It was like a 3 or 4-set, the two that I approached introduced me to their friend. I talked to her for over an hour. It was fine - just a normal conversation. I probably wasn't being physical enough. I tried, but was maybe too conscious about it. After a while, the interaction sort of started to fizzle. The girl's friend came over because one of their friends was crying in the bathroom, and pulled her off. It was close to the witching hour, so I decided to go home.
1 year ago