Fail #1

Outcome
So last night was a fail. I had one set (no, two) that was prime for isolation, and a few others that were definitely isolateable. I went over to this girl (7.5 at least), and said that she looked like a fucking bumblebee (I bumped into Entropy doing a 1-on-1, and he told me that he was telling his student to get blown out. I decided to try this as well). Surprisingly, the set hooked, and I stayed in for 30 minutes or so, until the bar closed and we had to leave. I hit it off pretty well with her - I probably could have gotten a fairly solid number. More importantly, she had just broken up with her boyfriend (and she mentioned it pretty quickly). The logistics were probably right for a pull, but I didn't isolate enough to make that a possibility. Basically, I didn't attempt to isolate until I realized that it was too late (the bar kicked us out), and then I felt awkward about the situation and ejected without a time bridge.

I feel like the problem is that I don't exactly know when to isolate. Typically, I realize after the fact that I should have isolated. I think that I need some sort of system for determining that its time to isolate, and then I need a routine for isolating.

Solution
Tony Robbins says that in order to effect change, you need to isolate massive pain with not adopting the new behavior, and massive pleasure with adopting that behavior. The massive pain is that, so long as I don't isolate, I am going to miss out on getting to know lots of great girls better. I am going to berate myself night after night on the missed opportunities, and cry myself to sleep after I go home alone. Moreover, I will waste a lot of valuable time in sets that don't go anywhere. If I do this, my results will skyrocket, and I will quickly improve with women. I will have many cool, attractive girls in my life, and will feel much more successful. This will help my confidence in not only pickup, but also in my social life in general and my business life. Therefore, I must handle my escalation anxiety by isolating.

I think that the second thing I need is a system. Some way of figuring out that its the right way to isolate, and a standard way to isolate. Maybe I want to count IOIs. Once I see three IOIs (defined as broadly as possible, as anything that could somehow be construed as interest), I isolate. Doc Holliday suggested that I ask the girl to go with me to get a drink from the bar. Once I'm doing well in a set, alcohol may also loosen up some of my escalation anxiety.

Defusing Obstacles
Another important skill that I haven't completely mastered is defusing obstacles. Last night, there was a set that I came in, where I was winging another guy. He had pulled off one girl, and there were four others standing there. I started talking to another, and was getting a fairly good level of interest from her. Two of the other girls wanted to dance. There was also a spoiler, who was clearly in a bad mood and interested only in cockblocking her friends. She stood around, lurking, sucking value. When she came in, she made a negative comment. Then a few minutes later, she tried to pull the girls away. We were each deep in conversation, so my girl stalled her. A few minutes later, the obstacle finally managed to pull them both away (she was really annoying - if it had been my friend, I would have gone with her just to shut her up).

In postmortem, I should have attempted to befriend this obstacle. I should then have told her to take her other friends dancing, and that our girls would go over when they were ready. I'm pretty sure that would have worked. In the future, I need to implement that strategy.

Wing Ejection
Lately, I've been going out a bunch with guys who are a bit less experienced than me. A lot of them still have social anxiety, and prematurely eject from sets. They are all really cool guys, and have a lot of potential as wings. A few months ago, I was in exactly the same place, and did a lot of the same things they do. It always shocks me how poor their wing skills are in a lot of cases, especially when compared to their other abilities.

I always forget that wing skills are one of the last things you develop. You get good at opening, hooking, and holding a set long before you get good at winging another guy. The thing I have noticed with inexperienced wings is that they:

1) Don't usually know how to enter a set. When I'm winging, I say hi to the guy who is in the set, and then wait for him to acknowledge and introduce me. I say hi to the girls, and then wait a minute or two to figure out what is going on. I then start a conversation with whatever girl is closer to me (if the wing is experienced, he will usually guide me towards one of the girls).

2) Eject out of sets where they are winging. When I'm winging, my goal is to hold the obstacle, or to attract her. Especially when she is the cuter girl of the two. I never eject unless the obstacle starts actively ignoring me, or if I feel like my continued involvement will cost my wing the set. I see newer wings come in and then eject a few minutes later. If they get blown out, that's fine, but the obstacle typically don't usually blow out the wing so long as the other guy's girl likes him. Sometimes the obstacle will just go away, but that's another story (that is actually a desired outcome in most cases).

I have gotten better at coping with this, but it can be difficult to handle (more difficult than just running a two-set solo). I don't typically talk to the obstacle once the wing has come in, so there is a completely unmanaged variable in the set when the wing ejects.