Post 100

I just went through my phone and cleaned out my flakes. There were probably 40 numbers in there who are either flakes or girls who I don't talk to any more. Some of these are nearly a year old. There is something cathartic about clearing out your phone - it is worth doing every once in a while. Sure it makes sense to keep old numbers for a while, but not forever. In my case, I'm moving to the Bay Area in three days, so it probably doesn't make sense to keep my old numbers from Boston. Not sure when I'll be back here.

In other news, I'm moving to the Bay Area in about three days. I'm not sure whether I'll go out again here. Went out Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Friday and Saturday were pretty good, but Sunday was blowout after blowout. We went to a loud dance club, and I hadn't done club game in quite a while. Plus it was super-packed, and there was nowhere to lock in. Overall, sort of a clusterfuck, but it's good to have nights like that every once in a while. Keeps you real, and shows you how much you still have to work on. I think that the other trick is to start opening right away. There was about an hour between the time the place opened and when the music got loud, and we pretty much choded out and talked for that time. Perfect opportunity to talk to a bunch of groups. I still don't do well when I can't talk - probably never will. That's ok - I just need to be mindful of my weaknesses so that I can work around them.

Last Night == Fail

Alright. I didn't do exactly what I wanted to do last night. Here's a rundown:

1) Got to the bar early. Opened a (safe) two-set. Turns out that they both had wedding rings on. Talked to them for a while until they left. Sometimes it is hard for me to tell whether girls have an honest excuse or are just ditching me. In any case, nothing was going to happen there. Didn't go for the number, because that would have been sketchy.

2) Opened a 3-set. They were in the middle of something, and told me to come back in a few minutes. I talked to them for a minute before I left, and they were pretty friendly. Didn't reopen, although I should have.

3) Opened a 2-set. They worked at the hotel where the bar was. I kind of liked one of the girls, but didn't go for the number (that's where the fail came from). After a while, they left to smoke.

4) My wing started talking to a girl at the bar, and she enlisted him to carry drinks back to her friends. She also liked him. I came over, and started talking to the friend, who was cute, but she wasn't having any of me. She pulled the other girl away after a few minutes. We were left with a third friend. I left, my wing stayed in for a while and talked to the third girl.

We bounced to a different neighborhood, and a different bar.

5) I opened a seated group because the guy was wearing a Trogdor the Burninator shirt. It didn't really hook, although I plowed for a few minutes.

6) I opened a standing two-set. We talked for a little while, but I wasn't really getting much in terms of attraction, and wasn't all that into them. I ejected. This was funny because two guys from school were standing right there, and saw me approach. They asked me about it later.

So there was about one set here where I should have gone for the number, and didn't. It didn't seem solid, but I'm a pussy about that sort of thing.

Being Direct
I think that I'm going to try a new exercise. Basically, it is to force myself to not be a pussy. When I get a girl into isolation, I'll say something along the lines of "I know this is direct, but would you like to go home with me tonight?" Hopefully doing this a lot will free me from being a pussy.

Rededication - Part Two

So I'm back on my theme of going out. I've been going out more, but still not as much as I would like. I'm not sure whether I hit 20 approaches last week - I went out one night solo, and then spent two nights going to house parties. It's likely that I talked to 20 people, but most didn't qualify as cold approach. I did spend most of Friday talking to one girl, but I didn't really push it. I think that I'm undirected; I don't consistently push myself forwards. I still hook sets fairly consistently, but don't go for numbers, and don't qualify. So, here are my goals:

1) Phone Numbers - If I talk to a girl for more than ten minutes, I have to ask for her number. Even if she blows me out, I have to ask for the number on the way out.
2) Qualification - I need to qualify. That's why I get so many flakes. I should start using a teasing qualifier right after I open, and I should put up a bigger hoop before I jump into comfort.

Rededication

Wow. Every time I log in, it has been longer and longer since my last post. I have even been going out less lately (I was down to probably once a week for about a month). I've had some major stuff happen on other fronts of my life - I actually feel like I'm getting closer to where I want to be. I have had less time to go out, but this is ridiculous.

Recently, I gave myself an ultimatum. This is high priority. If I don't work on it consistently, I won't get any better. I'll have the 60-75% solution, but not the grand prize. I want to get this area of my life handled, and get the results that I want. That doesn't come by being lazy - it comes through consistent hard work. I've worked at this too hard and long (and gotten too close to real success) to give up now.

Last weekend, I forced myself to go out and open 20 sets. The first 5 sets were super-hard - I even had to give my wing $20 to pressure myself to approach. I was rusty as hell. But, by the end of the weekend, it had started coming back. I was opening and holding. I wasn't time bridging or pulling, but everything in due time.

Last night, I went out solo. I think I opened 5 sets.

The first one went pretty well - I think it lasted for almost an hour. The target was a professional violinist, and had really cool nerdy glasses (I love chicks with glasses). I didn't go for the number - stupid me.

The second set went ok. I opened a three-set, and after meeting the group I switched to the target. They actually left her alone for a while with me, but she got bored after maybe 15 minutes. I actually detected some fairly subtle vibe changes and subcommunications - I'm starting to be able to read people better. I probably wasn't escalating enough, and she lost interest.

I bounced, and opened three more. The venue was pretty loud, and I just wasn't high energy enough. Nothing really lasted all that long. I bumped into some guys from the lair and a friend from college who was pretty drunk.

I'm rededicating this blog, to Frame 2.0. This is the second major campaign, and I'm detecting that it's going to be good.