Escalation

So I've had some interesting realizations since my last post. The first is that I don't open enough sets when I go out. I've definitely been opening less. The good news is that I open girls who I am attracted to, but the bad news is that I have reduced my opening frequency. I either need to drop my standards or frequent venues with more attractive girls.

The other thing I'm realizing is that I'm still too timid in escalating. This comes out both in my dates and in my sets.

Opening
Last night, I only opened three sets or so. I did wing a bunch more (including one UG with bad breath whose friend my wing wasn't attracted to), and spent most of my time in set, but still, I didn't open 5-10 sets like I used to. I think that I need to state my goals and follow through with them. From now on, I'm going to set goals at the beginning of the night, verbalize them to my wings, and follow through. I think that I also need a night alone every once in a while. Maybe 1 night every two weeks can be a solo night with 10+ opens.

Escalating
So today I had a D3 with a girl who I met about a week ago. The D2 was an improv show and then a drink. I kinoed throughout the interaction, and got a solid kiss on the lips at the end. She invited me into her place, but her roommates were there, which made it hard to escalate. So I kissed her, and we had D3 today. I had her meet me near my neighborhood, and we went out to lunch. Afterwards, we went back to my place, and ended up in my room. I kissed her, and got a solid kiss on the lips. She went to the bathroom, and when she came back, I kissed her, and a short makeout resulted. She then wanted to see some pictures that I had - I had her sit on my lap and showed them to her. My hand nuzzled her breast - she didn't seem at all uncomfortable about this. When that was over, she told me that she had to go meet her mother in an hour, so she had to leave (she told me about this at the beginning of the date, but I'm not sure about the timing). I walked her back to the T. She didn't seem to want to kiss goodbye, but she has told me repeatedly that PDAs disgust her. Not entirely sure where this is going. I'll see whether D comes up.

My post-mortem is that when she was sitting on my lap, I should have lifted her up at some point and thrown her on the bed. I probably wasn't dominant enough, and this may have hurt me. I had one other situation where I had a girl sitting in my lap, and nothing at all happened that time. I think that I look for implicit approval to move on to the next stage, when I should be escalating until the girl resists. She clearly wasn't resisting any of my advances - she just wasn't 100% compliant. In the future, I need to push every interaction.

Thinking back to last night, I should have been kino escalating more in my sets. I was attracted to the girls, but didn't kino escalate much (for some reason, I felt stifled about escalating). I need to fix that moving forward.

Day Game
What is this? Yes, a bonus section. Went to the GSF yesterday, and helped some new guys open sets during the day. We were going direct on girls in a crowded urban area. There were lots of really attractive girls, and we opened a lot of them. One of the new guys who I was working with did a great job of opening lots of sets - I think that he got three numbers. I got a number from a girl who was locking up her bike. Learned some things about the logistics of going direct - if you stop a girl in an inconvenient place, you need to move her right away to a better logistical situation. I went direct on a girl right as she was walking into a store. She stopped and we chatted for a minute, but after a little while she walked into the store because she was blocking the entrance and felt awkward. I should have kept walking as I opened her, and continued the conversation in the store. Another direct approach was on a girl sitting down with headphones on. I got her to talk for a minute, but I needed to sit down to seriously continue the conversation (and I didn't).

The conclusion is that it is a lot more fun to work during the day than I previously imagined. Going direct on girls is a lot of fun, and you get much better responses than you would expect (most of them are flattered rather than being creeped out). I just need to get better at quickly going for the number close.

I think that my new heroes are Paul Janka and Smallville (both masters of the direct daytime approach).