The Great Dance

So, this weekend, I had some interesting realizations about pickup. The first was when I was talking to a girl on Thursday. I went in with my opener, "Hey. how's it going?" And, its kind of strange - I can usually tell that the set has hooked as soon as the girl responds. If I have delivered the opener correctly (and there are a frigging lot of ways to say "Hey. How's it going" incorrectly), then the set will hook.

I liked the girl, and I could tell that she liked me. I don't think that we were talking about anything in particular, just vibing. Her friends sat down, and she remained standing, talking to me. The rest of the world pretty much disappeared. After a while, she realized that she had to go and sit down with her friends. So I went off, and talked to some other girls.

We bumped into her group again, when we were walking past another bar. She was very happy to see me, and we started talking again. Her friend started repeating her phone number, and was like, "call her." We talked for another ten or 15 minutes, until her group got into the other bar (the line was pretty long). You should have seen the AMOG who was "with" her glare at me. She gave me her number, and went into the club. Too bad that she lives in New York.

So what was the lesson here? I noticed before that I have trouble opening attractive girls. What I realized was that natural game only works when you are attracted to the girl. A lot of time, I will be talking to a girl, but realize that she isn't "in to" me. We're engaged in conversation, and I'm hooked in, I'm even kino escalating. But, somehow, it isn't working. To tell you the truth, I'm not really into her either. Maybe she isn't my type, or isn't attractive enough. Whatever the case, I'm a bad liar. Girls want you to be into them. And if you are, quite often there is instant attraction. When I think about it, I get better attraction when I'm talking to a hot girl than an average one. From now on, I'm not going to waste my time on girls who I'm not attracted to. It isn't doing anyone any good.

Here's the other thing - pickup is kind of like a dance. During your interaction, you are dancing with a girl, and you have to keep the rhythm. If the dance falters, then the set ends. The dance starts out technical, a lot of steps, and a lot of opportunities to step on her feet or screw up. Eventually, it turns to a slow dance, which is about holding on and making each other feel good.

Now here's the thing - you don't need routines, or anything scripted, so long as you can feel the beat, and keep to the dance. Canned game is kind of like the footprints that you put on the floor when you learn how to dance. Sure, you may look like you are dancing, but you lack a core conception of what is going on underneath it all. You are just running a set of rote footprints, and hoping that it looks like you are dancing. And if you are good enough, it actually does.

But why not just learn how to feel the rhythm, and do the dance on your own?