Stuck

So I feel like I'm stuck, and I have been thinking a lot about it lately. I haven't really felt like I've made progress in a while, and to be honest, it has started getting to me.

Being Fun
Big sticking point here. I think that the difference between a good night and a bad night is how much fun I am. When I'm in state, I have no problem being fun. When I'm out of state, no dice. I run out of interesting things to say, time and time again. I'm not a naturally high energy person, so I'm not going to be fun in a loud club environment just by the presence of my being (unlike some other guys). Going completely freestyle isn't working for me. I ran into Doc Holliday yesterday, and we talked about this. His advice was to carry around a list of interesting things to talk about. When I talk about something interesting, I can add it to the list. I think that I'm going to do this. If I ever need something to say, I can transition to something on the list. I guess that it is getting pretty close to a routine stack, but that's ok. I need to do something to change.

I also talked to Maximus Testicles for a while about this, and he told me that I view this stuff as work. It shouldn't be work, it should be fun. Talking to girls should just be an extension of having fun in the club environment. I guess that I'm bored a lot of the time when I'm talking to girls in a club, and they are about 1000x more ADD than most guys, so they must be super bored. I'm going to focus on having fun.

I also realize that one of the reasons for my recent performance decline might be that my wing situation has been in flux recently. I used to have a couple of really good wings, and we always had a great time going out. We could pump each other's state super-high, and make sure that we were having fun. Then one of them took a while off from going out, and I had a falling out of sorts with the other one (we had some misunderstandings, and it has never really been the same for some reason). I like the guys I go out with now, but I haven't gelled super-hard with any of my current wings. Gelling with a wing can be a fairly long process, and a lot is dependent on personality and style. I guess that I like guys who push themselves super-hard, and not every guy is like that (to be fair, some guys who are super-successful don't have to push themselves to open everything to stay in state).

Being Dominant
I don't think that I'm dominant enough. I don't kino enough, or escalate hard enough. I have thought about this a lot, but for some reason, it doesn't stick. I don't know why - this might have to do with sexual anxiety, or with discomfort with being touched.