What if it Doesn't Happen?

Watched "The Peaceful Warrior," which is a movie about inner game and self-actualization. It contains a lot of lessons that are valuable to the game, but my biggest takeaway was to ask myself, "what if it doesn't happen?" Early on in the movie, the mentor asks the main character (a gymnast) what would happen if he doesn't win a gold medal. The character hasn't even thought about it - his whole existence is consumed by obtaining that one accomplishment. At the end of the movie, the character has a similar conversation with one of his teammates - the teammate thinks that winning is the key to happiness, that it will trump everything else.

If you aren't happy, no accomplishment is going to make you happy. Getting laid won't make you happy, making a lot of money won't make you happy, having a lot of stuff won't make you happy. If you do go out tonight and get laid, what will you have tomorrow? The rest of your life will still be there for you to deal with. Happiness comes from within. Every time that there is something you want, you need to ask yourself what will happen if you don't get it. Your life should still be complete, even if it doesn't happen. Don't rely on external validation - live in the moment.

I think that, a lot of times, we go out with the expectation that women will validate us. Maybe we will have a good interaction, where the girl shows interest in us. Maybe there will be a number, or a kiss close. Maybe we will pull. If none of this happens, then we had a shitty night. However, out of a three-hour night, perhaps two-and-a-half were the same. We still hung out with our friends, talked to some women, and maybe drank some beer. Why should we be depressed about an outcome that we had no control over? If we were unhappy with the night, then we should have generated more fun. If we had done that, either the women wouldn't matter, or they would notice how much fun we were having and would come to us...

I think that another important lesson was to live in the present. Clear everything out of your head, and live in the now. Don't worry about anyone else, or about what happened today, or even what might happen tomorrow. Think of the now, and how you can make the now the best possible moment. After all, it is the only moment that you are experiencing right now.

Ok, this post sounds preachy and trite, but I think that it is quite relevant to where I am right now.