Going Out Alone in a New State

So tonight, I decided to go out alone. In NYC. I've been working on going out alone, but I had never gone out alone in a state that I don't live in. Needless to say, it was hard. I asked one of the New York lair guys for recommendations for a place to go out, and went to one of the places that he recommended (I actually used this as my indirect opener today, and others corroborated). So I rolled up to a pretty cool hotel. I waited in a pretty long line - when I got to the front, the doorman told me that they weren't letting in solo guys for a couple of hours. I just sort of stared at him for a while - he asked if I was willing to make a deal. He proposed $40, and I asked him to go lower. He dropped to $20, which I was willing to pay. I wonder whether I could have gotten him lower, or to let me in for free. Regardless, it wasn't a huge deal, especially because a few months ago I wouldn't have even thought that I could have gotten in. I probably would have slunk home with my tail between my legs. One of the cool things about cold approaches is that it has made me more resistant to shit tests of all kinds. Hopefully this wasn't hard.

The bar was on the top floor of the hotel, which was pretty cool. There was a great view of the whole city from up there.

The first approach wasn't hard. As usual, I got it away with pretty quickly, opening a set of cougars. They were pretty nice, and were even cool with me being out by myself. I ejected after a few minutes (probably should have stayed in longer).

But the other sets weren't cool in the same way. I think it was more that I wasn't comfortable with it. They could sense that I was insecure, and didn't respond well. A lot of sets blew out before I really got anywhere with them. I could feel my state waning as the night went on. Whenever this happened, I would meditate for a few minutes, which usually calmed me down.

However, I soldiered on and did all of my approaches. I think that I did about ten, and even opened a guy who was by himself in the bar. It is pretty easy to open guys - I should do it more (and recruit them as a wing).

I think that the key is to befriend guys in the club. There were a number of other people who were cold approaching girls. I should have met some guys who were making cold approaches, and suggested that we team up. You just can't go at it alone.

Lessons Learned
1) Approach some guy sets so that you aren't there all alone.
2) Own your identity. Its yours, you worked hard for it, and you should be proud of it.
3) Meditation in the club works pretty well.
4) Gaming solo in a strange city isn't so bad.