Limiting Beliefs and Approaching SHBs

So last night, I went out with some people for sLICK's birthday. We went out directly from sLICK's place, so I was just wearing a t-shirt and jeans. He gave me a light-up pendant to wear. That pendant got me opened at least twice during the course of the night - I definitely should peacock more.

We headed to Faneuil Hall, and went to dinner. sLICK showed up late because he was busy opening street sets. The guy approaches like a frigging madman. He even used all of the cheesy openers from The Pickup Artist. He managed to get the hostess' number - he is truly an inspiration to watch.

After that, we went to one of the bars in Faneuil Hall. It was almost midnight at this point, and things were going strong. There were seven of us at this point - sLICK, Grim, Seven, Durus, Talker, Urnes Beast, and me. sLICK opened a girl in line by asking where we could find older women. She said, "so you are looking for cougars?" They bantered for a while - she seemed instantly attracted. Once we were inside, he was getting opened left and right.

I opened a few sets. One girl I opened downstairs, but she was heading upstairs. She invited me to come up, and I did. We found her friends, and I started talking to her. There appeared to be a lot of attraction - she was returning kino pretty heavily. I isolated, and at what seemed like an appropriate moment (we were talking about places to hang out near me), I went for the number close. She gave me a BF objection. She said that she was sorry for leading me on, and that she was flattered that guys are still interested. She said that she should get back to her friends (awkward), and the interaction ended. Not sure what I could have done differently in that one.

I had one other set that lasted for a while. I opened a mixed 3-set with a single girl and a couple. Turns out that the couple were friends visiting from out of town. We talked about a bunch of random things - at one point the conversation went to karaoke. The friend heard and jumped in - I should have pulled her into the conversation and befriended her, but I focused on the target. I also missed an opportunity to shift into comfort. The target refused to guess what my favorite karaoke song was. I said "this is personal. You need to tell me something personal about yourself." I then failed to follow up appropriately on that one. A few minutes later, the conversation got stale, and she excused herself to go to the bathroom.

We bounced to another venue, which was crowded and loud. I don't do well at those venues, but I opened a few sets. Should have opened more. sLICK was a madman. I think that I opened six or seven sets over the course of the night. Not really enough, especially because I haven't had a stellar night yet this weekend.

In the end, we headed back to sLICK's place, and debriefed before everyone headed home. Everyone had lots of great advice and tips. It was a late night - I didn't get to bed until like 4:30. I need to get on a more regular sleep schedule (I have been going to bed far too late).

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I realized something important. There are a lot of sets that I'm afraid to open. I don't talk to 9s and 10s - somehow I think that they are special or different. I open mostly 6-8s, and I probably don't even open as many 8s as I should. For some reason, I don't even notice the 9s and 10s - I just discount them and move on. I would be telling myself, "there isn't much to approach." Then I would see sLICK approach a SHB and have a stellar interaction. This seems like it is a form of AA - I don't think that these girls are any more difficult to talk to than anyone else. The last time that I opened a 9, she was friendly, and reacted to me as well as any other girl would (I approached her because there was exactly one set in the bar, and she was in it). I shouldn't be choding out like this any more. From now on, each night I am going to approach at least one set that I perceive as being "completely out of my league." Hopefully this will get rid of that limiting belief.

So I did manage to isolate one girl, which means that I am succeeding at my process goals. It wasn't hard - I just told her that the place we were was noisy and crowded, and moved her elsewhere. Worked like a charm. Now I need to befriend the obstacles before I isolate.